Michael Owen: Injury-free transfer or injury free-transfer?

I'm not quite sure what to make of Michael Owen's glossy brochure; it's all very bizarre. Of all the footballers on the planet, I would have least expected Michael Owen to release a brochure to sell himself. He’s hardly in the Pierre van Hooijdonk league of entertainment value, is he? I can’t imagine what’s in it. Interests: monotone delivery. But this immodest brochure lark is even stranger when you consider that at eighteen, Owen was arguably one of the most exciting talents on the planet. Granted, eleven years on and his career has been laden with get-well-soon cards and pillow-fluffing. But on paper (glossy), surely Michael Owen is still worth a look at?

I’m going to hedge my bets and say that having signed youth contracts at fifteen-sixteen, not many professional footballers have ever written a CV. The old addage dictates that people who write CVs are liars. Michael Owen played 71 league games for Newcastle United in four years, notching 26 goals on Tyneside. Before, a year with Real Madrid saw him score 15 times in 35 appearances. His Liverpool record of 118 goals in 216 league games speaks volumes, and in itself created the platform of promise so many spoke of. Statistics wise, Michael Owen doesn’t really need to lie. There’s a cliché somewhere about CVs being able to communicate independently, and I suppose Owen’s would be top of many a recruiting pile on this basis alone. Sadly for Owen over the last however-many years, there is a "but".

To date, Michael Owen’s thirteen-year employment history would look something like this: league appearances 322, goals scored 159, grapes eaten 8213. That's an average of 671 grapes a year. Which probably doesn't outline my point as well as it might have done. I should have used more grapes. Either way, that figure should just about constitute a good enough analogy for his many long-term injuries and hospital visits over the last thirteen years.

Whenever I have applied for jobs, I have always been questioned about the gaps in my employment. "What were you doing between the dates of July and November of 2006?" I was putting my legs up. I imagine suitors of Owen to adopt the same line of enquiry. Chances are, Owen's answer would be relatively similar.

But does Owen's quality and goalscoring record outweigh his baggage? I'd say so. Having scored 40 goals for his country, albeit the last of them almost two years ago, brand-Owen remains an institution in itself. And let's be honest, most Premiership clubs can afford him. No price-tags or fee negotations are to be required this summer, as England's fourth-highest goalscorer is available for the princely sum of diddly-squat. Of course, potential suitors will have to wrestle with his wage demands, and a less than modest signing-on fee. But, despite earning in excess of £100,000 a week at Newcastle in four years, it is likely that Owen's demands are to be accommodating to most top-flight clubs, especially given his nigh-clichéd comments earlier this week that playing time is of most importance.

Michael Owen is a great goalscorer. His CV boasts statistics to support so. Statistics also appear to support the rare notion that Owen might not be as prone to the treatment table as many think. Assuming an average amount of league appearances for a seasoned player is approximately 34, Michael Owen has played 322 of a possible 374 in his eleven years as a regular. Not to be scoffed at for a player dubbed injury-prone. But, in spite of what many will tell you, statistics do not always tell the whole story, as on that logic I should have worked 5850 hours since finishing uni. I haven't.

If they play their silly-season cards right, one lucky club this summer could be on the end of a Brucie bonus with the signing of Michael Owen. And the price is definitely right.