Man City: 10 things that Mario Balotelli will (possibly) never do?

Manchester City’s madcap Italian striker Mario Balotelli has lightened up the football world with his incredible antics on and off the pitch. From setting off fireworks in his bathroom ahead of the Manchester derby only to score and reveal the famous Why Always Me T-shirt to giving money to homeless people in Manchester, you just can’t keep the former Inter Milan ace out of the news.

Some people love him, some hate him, but you can never ignore Balotelli. He has been ridiculed for failing to put a bib on properly, stunned the world by saying he was allergic to grass, lost a punchbag competition to a United fan, broke in to a women’s prison, adopted the ginger cat at City’s training ground and been involved in a number of training ground bust-ups with Micah Richards. Life is anything but quiet with Super Mario around.

With Balotelli doing the most incredible things we at Squarefootball decided to look at what the Italian would never do (possibly).

Here are the top 10 suggestions:

• Balotelli would never hire out a function room at Old Trafford for a surprise birthday party for Ryan Giggs but only invite Big Brother’s Imogan Thomas, Natasha Giggs and a journalist from the Sun – Our TV critic Chris Pettitt. Are you sure, Chris? That sounds right up Mario’s street!

• Balotelli would never pull on a United top – Colin Illingworth. He may have put on an AC Milan shirt while playing for rivals Inter but surely he would never, ever do the same in Manchester.

• Balotelli will never play for Scotland – Hugh Larkin. I don’t know. I’m sure we could find a Scottish relative if we looked hard enough. McBalotelli has a certain ring to it!

• I’m 100 per cent positive that we will never see Balotelli celebrate a goal he scores. Grumpy git! – Mitch Waddon. I’m not so sure. He’s a great guy and I’m sure he’d crack a smile if he scored the goal that delievered the Premier League title to City.

• Balotelli will never go into the Big Brother house – Colin Illingworth. He may have entered a few Big Brother babes in his time but he will never go through those doors, although it would make for classic television.

• Balotelli will not audition for this year’s X Factor and sing the Cheeky Girls’ classic Touch My Bum – Chris Pettitt. No that will never, ever happen. PJ and Duncan’s Let’s Get Ready to Rhumble is more likely!

• Balotelli will never appear alongside David Jason in the BBC’s flop comedy The Royal Bodyguard. No comedy genius can save that! – Steve Coulter. Yeah, not even Mario would be such a plonker there Rodders.

• Balotelli will not run for FIFA president – Chris Pettitt. Possibly not until he’s retired but can you imagine what he would do the beautiful game? I can’t wait to see the firework round where you have five minutes to try and maim an opponent.

• Balotelli will never go for a drink with former Inter boss, Jose Mouinho – Steve Coulter. The two men have never seen eye-to-eye and the Italian recently said Mancini was a better coach than Mourinho. What would Balotelli do if Mourinho ever ended up at the Etihad?

• Balotelli will never, and hopefully, ever change – Nottingham Forest legend Kenny Burns. He’s not on the Squarefootball payroll, nobody is, but he has been quoted as saying this and let’s hope Mario doesn’t. The world would be a poorer place without the Italian.

Well that’s the best we could come up with. Do you have any suggestions? We’d love to hear from you.