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Wednesday, 25 December 2013

Squarefootball's Flops of the Week - Week 17

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Sqf flops of the week graphic

"It's Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid," was the opening line from Band Aid's smash hit Do They Know It's Christmas Time? While that may be the case to most humans, that rule doesn't apply to turkeys - who have been frantically running around farms across the globe over the past few weeks desperately trying to cling on to  life and not sitting on your plate this afternoon. Merry Christmas!

It's a sad state of affairs when a tasty turkey puts in more effort than a Premier League footballer, but trust me there were a number of turkeys in action over the past weekend.

West Ham defender James Collins was one of the biggest culprits at Old Trafford, but who will be joining the Hammer in Squarefootball's Flops of the Week?

Here is our starting XI.

Sqf flops 17

Goalkeeper - Paulo Gazzaniga (Southampton)

In a weekend where not one Premier League goalkeeper truly shined, Southampton's Paulo Gazzaniga was arguably the worst of the lot. I mean, he was beaten not once but twice by Emmanuel Adebayor for Christ's sake! He has a better command of the English language than he does of his six-yard box and his distribution is worse than Royal Mail.

Defender - James Collins (West Ham United)

My old man taught me two golden rules in life. Firstly you should never turn your back on the ball in football and secondly, never, ever, trust a Spurs fan. On Saturday James Collins broke that first rule at Old Trafford as he was run ragged by Manchester United's young Adnan Janujaz. The Welsh international needs to sharpen up his act if the Hammers are to beat the drop this season.

Defender - Erik Pieters (Stoke City)

The Dutch defender had a game to forget at the Britannia. We all know what he was trying to do with his header back to the keeper, but why attempt such a move with Kozak in attendance? He was very fortunate that Peter Crouch gave the Potters all three points.

Defender - Dean Moxey (Crystal Palace)

It wasn't that long ago that Moxey was living the high life in Squarefootball's Team of the Week. Well, just to prove how volatile life can be in the top flight, the 27-year-old finds himself in our Flops of the Week. Moxey just had no answer to the power and movement of Sissoko and was taken off at half-time.

Defender - Jos Hooiveld (Southampton)

Do you remember that kid who was always picked on by the biggest boy in school? Jos Hooiveld certainly does after being outmuscled for the whole 90 minutes by Emmanuel Adebayor on Sunday. Hooiveld scored his fourth Premier League goal in the 3-2 defeat. At this rate he will be overtaking Jamie Carragher as the own goal king!

Midfielder - Marko Arnautovic (Stoke City)

It's not often that a winning side will have two players featured in Squarefootball's Flops of the Week but that's exactly what has happened with Stoke City this week. To be fair, Arnautovic, did nothing to inspire the Potters beside being hauled off at half-time. Charlie Adam's introduction was what changed this game.

Midfielder - Scott Sinclair (West Brom)

The former Swansea City winger is trying to rebuild his career at the Hawthorns but he didn't even get out of first gear against Hull City. Sinclair, on loan from Manchester City, looked a shadow of his former self. He was substituted at half-time.

Midfielder - Mohamed Diame (West Ham United)

The Hammers failed to follow up their heroic display at White Hart Lane in midweek when they arrived at the Theatre of Dreams on Saturday. Big Sam's men only managed two efforts all game - with only one of those being on target - but Diame surprisingly looked out of his depth at Old Trafford. He only beat his man once and offered very little as the Hammers lost 3-1.

Striker - Wilfried Bony (Swansea City)

The former Vitesse Arnhem hitman didn't seem to be on the same hymnsheet as his team-mates against Everton. I lost count the number of times he lost possession with slack passes. Michael Laudrup could do with Santa Claus bringing his summer signing his shooting boots tomorrow!

Striker - Peter Odemwingie (Cardiff City)

The former West Bromwich Albion striker knew he was going to be in for a tough game at Anfield but not even he expected to see so little of the ball. Odemwingie, who kept us all entertained 13 months ago with his transfer deadline day farce at QPR, was left chasing shadows as Liverpool controlled the game from the off.

Striker - Jozy Altidore (Sunderland)

If you're on the pull in the north east it's almost impossible for a hot-blooded male not to score. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for Sunderland striker Jozy Altidore when he takes to the pitch. The former Hull City man mountain has only scored one Premier League goal since his big-money move in the summer and he drew another blank on Saturday at home to Norwich. Gus Poyet needs more from the American if the Black Cats are to stay in the top flight next season.

Well that's our turkeys for this week. Do you agree? Whatever your view, we'd love to hear from you.

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Antony Melvin



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