Ayr United

Monday, 23 July 2012

Is this the worst football kit ever?

Players and fans are supposed to wear their shirts with pride, but sometimes the tops are so hideous they make you utterly ashamed. Arsenal fans have complained about their Dennis the Menace away kit, Manchester United supporters have hit out over their new tartan home kit and some Liverpool fans a...

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Tuesday, 08 May 2012

Outside the Box – Football on TV: A long time ago in a Stadium far far away, ITV began their FA Cup Final coverage

The 2011-12 football season will probably be looked back upon with a real intrigue in future decades. It has been a long, incident-strewn expedition encompassing an abundance of controversy, drama and despair. It is hard to remember another campaign with more extraordinary talking points. The Luis S...

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Tuesday, 01 May 2012

Outside the Box – Football on TV: A bad week for some as United falter and the Olympics fail to inspire

It ended with Liam Gallagher bopping along to his own record at the Etihad last night in the her-uge title showdown between the Manchester giants on Live Ford Monday Night Football. Basking in his own genius is probably a nightly ritual for Gallagher junior but what certainly hasn’t been a regular o...

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Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Outside the Box – Football on TV: Time is running out for the Football League Show but Reading and the Saints defy the odds

Back in the hazy midsummer days of August 2011, while hoards of frenzied teenagers were marauding their way through the streets of London setting fire to police cars, looting Poundland and generally ruining Boris Johnson’s holiday; I was indulging in a regular pre-season pursuit. Like every footba...

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Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Outside the Box – Football on TV: A tough week of watching tough men taking tough action; and then there was Gary Neville on Super Sunday

There are many boulevards open to footballers when the time finally comes for them to hang up their boots, delete Sir Alex’s number from their Blackberry and say goodbye to the pantomime-drudgery of the Premier League. Obviously, the twin favourites for many pros are either a cushy job coaching the ...

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Tuesday, 27 March 2012

Outside the Box – Football on TV: A tough week for the ‘football family’ but the future’s looking bright, and looking orange for the Toon Army

It has certainly been a difficult old week in football. Quite rightly, the grave events surrounding Bolton’s Fabrice Muamba dominated all stratums of the game over the past seven days, and by extension all of the football coverage too. This resulted in a strange ambivalence amongst the week’s acti...

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Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Beckham, Best, Henry or Cantona: Who were the coolest footballers to ever live?

We would all like to be footballers, right? The money, the women, the cars. Oh, and the playing of football. That’s pretty good. But some are cooler than others. Too cool, even. So cool they make everyone else look like silly, awkward, emasculated chumps. So who were the 10 coolest footballers to e...

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Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Outside the Box – Football on TV: No handshake for Evra and no love lost between the partisan pundits at Sky

Think about this for a second. How many times do you think you have seen Luis Suarez’s hand this weekend? Ten times? Twenty? A hundred? I’m sure I’ve seen his wandering hand more than I’ve seen my own two in the past 48 hours, such has been the swirling media-frenzy since he refused to settle his di...

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Tuesday, 24 January 2012

Outside the Box – Football on TV: Confusion reigns at City as Coleman fluffs his lines

Have you played Football Manager 2012? You may wonder how a game brimming with data, facts and incalculable statistics comes to contain such a dearth of information. Well, in the early stages of the games development, some spotty oik is charged with the task of finding someone close to each of the 7...

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Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Outside the Box – Football on TV: Manchester disunited but the magic of the FA Cup is alive and well

The much talked about magic of the FA Cup was present in abundance this Sunday during the huge third round Manchester showdown, in fact there was more magic contained in the 90 minutes than during a Paul Daniels swingers party. Chris Foy’s card tricks, a disappearing City captain and most mystifying...

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Tuesday, 03 January 2012

Outside the Box – Football on TV: A football overkill but Fabregas’ Barcelona adventure keeps us watching

At the top of this article you will see, if you can get past the crass, self-congratulatory overuse of my own name, that the tagline for this column mentions that there isn’t enough football on the TV. Obviously this pithy line is actually nonsense as there is in fact far too much football clogging ...

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Wednesday, 28 December 2011

Outside the Box – Football on TV: Stelling and his merry mates bring festive cheer and genuine fear in the absence of any football

If we boil it down, there are two distinct ways to spend the festive period. You either endure the holiday wallowing in a pit of desperate desolation, alone with no hope of joviality, good tidings or communal kinship. Sat crestfallen in front of Eastenders on Christmas night, nursing a bottle of gin...

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Tuesday, 20 December 2011

Outside the Box – Football on TV: A battle of wits ends in defeat for Worthy’s warhorses, but football marches on

Let’s face it. Our footballing heroes don’t have the greatest reputation when it comes to brainpower and academia do they? A cautionary glance at the post-match interviews every week on Match Of The Day show us superstars struggling to grasp the complexity of questions such as, “How do you feel the ...

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Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Outside the Box – Football on TV: A love-in for O’Neill as marvel Martin ruins Rovers’ day

It was clear at 1pm on Sunday what the overriding theme of the day was going to be on Sky Sports’ Live Super Sunday. Ed Chamberlain, growing more and more comfortably into the role of football anchorman, opened the afternoon’s football coverage by loudly proclaiming, “Sunderland’s new era begins tod...

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Tuesday, 06 December 2011

Outside the Box – Football on TV: The rise and fall of the sprightly Savage is far from a waltz in the park

Do you remember the first time you ever saw Star Wars? That intoxicating and bedazzling rush of pure unadulterated excitement as you sat slack-jawed, unable to wrench your eyes away from all the bright lights, whizzing space ships and questionable acting? And perhaps you also remember the desolate f...

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Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Outside the Box – Football on TV: A hair-raising spectacle on Saturday turns to sombre reflection on Sunday

Take a look around you. Chances are that if you are reading this in a public place; a library, at your office while you should be working or perhaps even on the Tube, then someone close by is displaying some facial hair that seems to be a little out of place. These moustachioed menfolk are either un...

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Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Outside the Box – Football on TV: A test of comedy quizzing is passed with help from the inspiring Irish

Ok, before we go any further let me first congratulate the Irish team on their impressive qualification for the European Championships next summer. There was the inevitable party mood for the second leg of the Republic of Ireland v Estonia match last Tuesday and I’m sure there are not many that begr...

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Tuesday, 08 November 2011

Outside the Box – Football on TV: ITV begin to repay their debt with a feast of Man City delights

It’s the 12th June 2010. Seven thirty-four on a warm summer’s evening. My friends and I are huddled around my television, just as a million more expectant eyes are doing at the same moment up and down the nation. Then pffft … nothing. A moment’s darkness was followed by some guff about Hyundai cars ...

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Tuesday, 01 November 2011

Outside the Box – Football on TV: A bad week for JT just gets worse and worse as the news hacks attack!

It’s been a bad old week for Chelsea and England captain John Terry hasn’t it? The on-going racism row between Terry and his accuser Anton Ferdinand has been front and back page news since the incident occurred a week ago and the story shows no signs of halting. Like most I have seen the footage...

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Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Outside the Box – Football on TV: Mancini’s Manchester magicians spoil the party… and this column

Why always me? This week I was going to talk to you about the light-hearted Sky Sports knockabout quiz Take It Like a Fan. I was armed with reams of faint praise for the show and was readying my keyboard for a glittering review and even a possible recommendation for you all to check it out. But al...

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Thursday, 20 October 2011

Can any player, including Messi, be considered 'the greatest'?

Ah, the Champions League. Bringer of drama, stopper of dreamers, platform for Ray Wilkins to say ‘my word’ 50 hundred thousand times. And there are other things that are nearly always discussed, certainly when seeing the two dominant Spanish sides play. The great debate has moved from trying to ...

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Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Outside the Box – Football on TV: Football on Sky is becoming a fairytale thanks to Wilkins the Wizard

So we were repeatedly told that it was the ‘biggest club game in world football’ as Liverpool and Manchester United met at Anfield on Saturday for the ever-intense North-West derby. The fevered atmosphere was apparent at Sky for Live Ford Football Special and there was an almost fairytale mood in ...

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Monday, 10 October 2011

Scotland: Can Levein’s men shock the world champions Spain?

Scotland’s narrow win over Liechtenstein, combined with Spain’s 2-0 win over the Czech Republic, has given Craig Levein’s men a glimmer of hope of qualifying for their first major tournament since France 98. All they need to do is better what the Czechs do against Lithunia. Unfortunately their oppon...

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Tuesday, 04 October 2011

Tevez, Mourinho and Zidane: Why football loves those shocking moments

When sitting down, reclining and watching the football on the TV, there are a few annoying things that one can expect. The first is that we will be subjected to some truly awful punditry and the second is we’ll probably be listening to the brilliant atmosphere – thousands upon thousands of footb...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Tevez, tantrums and Trigger? The pundits pull no punches when it comes to Carlos the Jackal

By the time this weekend came around I, like most, was sick to death of hearing about Carlos Tevez this, Carlos Tevez that, suspensions, fines, lip-readers, caveman, Aleksandar Kolarov, Argentina, Mancini. The whole overblown schism engulfed the country’s consciousness like some toxic mist and re...

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Saturday, 01 October 2011

What was football like without Soccer Saturday?

Since its inception in 1998, Soccer Saturday has become a national institution. Let’s start by giving a brief overview, for those who have never seen the show. Each week four ex-footballers are positioned in front of TV monitors. The panel are then entrusted with describing the action to the viewer...

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Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Outside the Box – Football on TV: You’re On Sky Sports… or should that be Moron Sky Sports?

There are three clearly defined pursuits enjoyed by the average football fan. One, demonstrating the unwavering certainty that they know the best way for their team to play. Secondly, morphing into yob-like tyrants at the very sight of an opposition supporter and lambasting them with vociferous ange...

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Tuesday, 20 September 2011

Outside the Box – Football on TV: Morning Glory could soon be a thing of the past for the guys at Soccer AM

Morning. The time of day when we, as human beings, fall into two distinct categories. On one hand you may be an enterprising, full-blooded marauder, charging about here there and everywhere with an unbounded vitality and zest for adventure. Alternatively, you might be a feckless layabout. Those of u...

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Wednesday, 07 September 2011

Top 10 bizarre injuries to footballers

Swansea City’s vice-captain Alan Tate is set to miss most of the Swans’ debut season in Premier League after breaking his leg in a freak golfing accident. The versatile defender was a passenger in a golf buggy that lost control and Tate will have to watch the majority of the club’s rollercoaster adv...

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Tuesday, 06 September 2011

Outside the Box – Football on TV: Golden Oldies at Sky prove to be Masters

The legendary American comedian Bob Hope once quipped, “Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle”. This observation proved to be spectacularly apt as I tuned in to Sky Sports’ Grand Final Masters this weekend. If you’re unfamiliar with the annual Masters summer contest it runs...

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Monday, 05 September 2011

Scots Corner: Is summer football the future for the SPL?

As the nights begin to draw in, getting shorter and shorter, and the weather quickly deteriorating, the age-old prospect of summer football has reared its head again. With the football season only a few weeks old and already the Scottish winter setting in, why not? Last season saw a record number o...

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Monday, 22 August 2011

Scots Corner: Is The SPL Really That Bad?

Scottish football suffered a shock to the system on Thursday night, with all three Europa League representatives posting disappointing results in the first legs of their respective ties. It was the most damning evidence that Scottish football has declined considerably in recent years, as Hearts and ...

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Monday, 08 August 2011

Scots Corner: Hearts broken by Jefferies' shock dismissal

The SPL has had a hectic week, with domestic, European and friendly action, as well as the first managerial casualty of the season. Following Hearts 1-0 home defeat to Dundee United last Sunday, extending their winless streak even further, manager Jim Jefferies and assistant Billy Brown were sacked...

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Tuesday, 02 August 2011

Newcastle and Hearts take note - This is how to run a football club

Over the past few years, we have seen many football club owners neglect their club financially, for instance the Glazer family at Manchester United. Under their stewardship Uniteds debt grew to more than £1 billion! On a smaller scale we had Munto Finance at Notts County, who allowed signings like S...

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Sunday, 31 July 2011

Squarefootball's Fantasy football invitation

There is less than two weeks to go until the start of the 2011/12 Premier League season and time is running out for you to enter the Squarefootball fantasy football competition. Last season more than 100 teams competed for the Squarefootball title, which was won by P Oxenby and his team FC Poxo. He...

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Friday, 29 July 2011

Who is your club’s greatest signing?

It is time to dust out the sheepskin coat and training gear with matching initials. Yes we will soon be picking our fantasy football teams. The right signings will determine your chances of becoming the next Ferguson, Mourinho or Hiddnk. The chequebook has certainly assisted those who play for real....

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Sunday, 24 July 2011

What five things would you do before the season starts?

Isn’t it normally New Years Eve when you get a top 100 favourite moments of the year or top 500 best movie credits or some other poor excuse for a programme? Well I thought I would also use it as a poor excuse for an article, but rather than boring you all with a list consisting of 100 or more items...

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Saturday, 23 July 2011

Tevez, Modric, Nasri and co - Quit your moaning!

One of the lessons that I had drilled into me as a youngster is the old adage “asking never gets”. Maybe you too can recall a time when you asked your mum for a Penguin or something and she trotted out some half-cocked lecture about it being polite to wait to be offered blah, blah, blah. Well clearl...

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Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Football in 3D - A new risk to average attendances?

The world has evolved and developed a lot since the 1950s with the invention, evolution and development of everything from bladeless fans to electric cars and high definition broadcasts and beyond, but what have the boffins responsible for 3D been doing for 60 years since its inception? 3D today i...

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Saturday, 16 July 2011

The frustrations of being a football fan

As football fans we are a pessimistic breed. No sooner have we finished dancing in the stands or in front of the TV celebrating our club’s promotion, championship, relegation avoidance or cup victory, we turn our attention to the next competition and start convincing ourselves football life will nev...

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Monday, 11 July 2011

Would you like to write for Squarefootball?

Do you live, breathe and sleep football? Do you have a passion for writing and want your views to be read by a potential audience of millions? Then we at Squarefootball Towers would love to hear from you. Whether you follow Aberdeen or Accrington Stanley, West Ham United or Wolfsburg, we can offer ...

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Monday, 02 August 2010

Fantasy football 2010/11 reminder

Do you think you can spend £100 million better than Manchester City’s Roberto Mancini? Do you think you could assemble a better squad than Spurs boss Harry Redknapp? Do you think you can guide your side to glory like Chelsea’s Carlo Ancelotti? If so then we want to hear from you. We at Squarefootba...

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Saturday, 17 July 2010

Squarefootball fantasy football invitation 2010/11

I saw more action and excitement this summer down at the mortuary than I did at the World Cup in South Africa. There was also a better atmosphere between me and my ex-girlfriend than there was inside the grounds, thanks to the constant drone of those awful vuvuzelas. And as for entertainment, I th...

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Friday, 21 May 2010

Get on side and sport your colours for Shelter this World Cup

In celebration of this years FIFA World Cup, housing and homelessness charity Shelter are teaming up with Nationwide Building Society, Official England Team sponsor, to launch their fantastic footy fundraiser, Strip4Shelter. Shelter is asking people across the country to replace their regular work ...

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Saturday, 10 October 2009

The Old Firm: Premier League? You’re having a laugh!

Martin Luther King famously had a dream of racial equality and an end to discrimination. I too have a dream but sadly it isn’t as prophetic as that. I just want to live to see Aberdeen crowned as SPL champions. Now that may sound ridiculous to many of you given the Dons’ recent lack of silverware bu...

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Saturday, 01 August 2009

Squarefootball's fantasy football challenge

Do you see yourself as the next Sir Alex Ferguson or Arsene Wenger? Do you think you can pick a better team than Harry Redknapp or Rafa Benitez? Brilliant, then why don’t you join us in competing for the coveted Squarefootball fantasy league crown? For the past few years we at Squarefootball towers...

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