Outside the Box – Football on TV: Gazza’s running out of chances while England run riot in San Marino

Let’s face it, there’s an awful lot of guff on TV isn’t there? In the ever-burgeoning crevasse of broadcasting channels, the sheer volume of half-baked tripe and lightweight, hollowed-out husks of regurgitated twaddle leaves the average viewer starved of visual stimulation and viewing conten...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Bad luck stories abound as the Scots take on Wales in a clash of the misfiring

It’s a universal truth that some people are just plain unlucky. These desperate souls, through no real fault of their own, just get a rough deal in this bad ol’ world and spend their days enduring an avalanche of ungodly misfortune and rudimentary shite. And don’t suffer the misapprehension that t...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: A more civilised way to talk about football perhaps, but it all comes down to Rooney’s gash in the end

Any long time readers of this column will be acutely aware of my ill feelings towards the current football malaise we reside in: the international break. A fortnight long forced abstinence of domestic football with only a scattered group of international fixtures to keep us going. Mercifully...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Team GB and the BBC could do with heroes like Neymar and the incredible Hulk

I don’t know about you, but even though the Olympics are yet to actually begin, I’m pretty sick of them already. I’m fed up of seeing clowns from the Government on Sky News demanding that the underclass should stop complaining that they can’t afford a pint of milk and just swoon in admiration at t...

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The Strange World Of FIFA: England Ranked Fourth In The World

It will come as something of a surprise to most fans who watched Euro 2012 that England came out of the tournament going up in the FIFA world rankings - not bad for two wins in four matches, one of which came against a Ukraine team who lie at 46th in the table. Ranking tables are always an untrustw...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Lawro plays the Twit as BBC confidence turns to England despair

It’s easy afterwards, in the hazy mist of reflection that hangs mournfully across the country each time the England team are wrenched from a major tournament, to neatly nestle back into the default self-loathing English mind-set and pretend we were always doomed to fail, fated to forever chase the...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: England make it hard to watch, while Sky’s legend makes the game look easy

Another week, another panic-inducing evening spent watching the England team then. This whole edge-of-our-seat, fine line between death and glory shtick that England have peddled out for years is now growing quite tiresome. Just for once, couldn’t we be like Germany and be ruthlessly efficient and...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Euro Vision begins as ITV and the BBC vie for Championship glory

Ok, so it might not feel too much like summer right now. It’s about 10°C outside, caravan parks are under water and the only suntans in sight are painted on the vacuous plebs of Geordie Shore. But I promise you, we are there and that of course means only one thing: the European Championships have ...

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England: 46 years of hurt and there will probably be a few more too

So another tournament for England, another chance for our much lauded players to show the world just how good they are on one of the biggest stages of all. Yet for once we arent among the favourites and the whole country is hoping for some good results rather than expecting good results as we all...

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Euro 2012 Fantasy Football invitation

Calling all fantasy football fans. Have we got a treat for you. If you think you are a better manager than Englands Roy Hodgson or that you could leave Germanys Joachim Low feeling really down in the dumps then why dont you prove it? Weve set up our own Euro 2012 mini-league with the Sun and youve...

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A Scott to be England captain . . . Why Parker is the right man for Fabio

So its official, John Terry has been stripped of the England captaincy AGAIN! After previously having the armband removed as a result of his alleged affair with Wayne Bridge’s ex-girlfriend, his latest dethroning comes as a result of the on-going race scandal involving Anton Ferdinand. Stripping T...

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England: Euro Draw Could Have Been Worse But This Will Not Be A Walk In The Park

Depending on your national orientation, emotions following last Friday’s Euro 2012 group stage draw will have been mixed. If you are Irish, you will presumably be quite gutted that, having qualified for your first major finals in 10 years, perennial powerhouses Spain and Italy were drawn in your gr...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: The rise and fall of the sprightly Savage is far from a waltz in the park

Do you remember the first time you ever saw Star Wars? That intoxicating and bedazzling rush of pure unadulterated excitement as you sat slack-jawed, unable to wrench your eyes away from all the bright lights, whizzing space ships and questionable acting? And perhaps you also remember the desolate f...

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Manchester City: A Bronx Tale Of . . . Simon Colosimo

In one of my first articles for Square Football I argued that, after seeing Chelsea’s Torres lumber around the pitch, there really isn’t a sadder sight in football (short of obviously death and destruction). It is, after all, a Bronx tale. Torres is a wonderful footballer but his performance...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: A test of comedy quizzing is passed with help from the inspiring Irish

Ok, before we go any further let me first congratulate the Irish team on their impressive qualification for the European Championships next summer. There was the inevitable party mood for the second leg of the Republic of Ireland v Estonia match last Tuesday and I’m sure there are not many that begr...

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England: What Happens If Capello Loses Joe Hart?

The friendly against Sweden gave Fabio Capello a lot of useful information about players like Kyle Walker and Jack Rodwell, but he didnt learn a great deal about his resources in one key position - the goalkeeper role. Scott Carson came out of the international wilderness for the second half and di...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Spain conquered, but Fabio gets a reality check from a Spurs and England legend

I don’t know if you noticed but the greatest footballing nation of recent years popped over during the weekend. You could quite legitimately be forgiven for letting it pass you by though, as the life of an England supporter over recent times has left the vast majority of us bare husks, bereft of hop...

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England beat the World Champions Spain but what have they actually learned from the game?

After the dust has settled and the benefit of hindsight has reared its head, any number of positives can be taken from England defeating Spain on Saturday. Joleon Lescott put in a determined, organised performance; Scott Parker once again laid down his claim to be a starting midfielder in next y...

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Dowie, Keegan, Magilton or Sanchez: Who will be the new Northern Ireland manager?

After a dismal qualifying campaign, Northern Ireland boss Nigel Worthington did the honourable thing and resigned. Now the search is on for a new manager and there has been no shortage of experienced names throwing their hats into the ring. Former England boss Kevin Keegan is reportedly the latest...

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Can any player, including Messi, be considered 'the greatest'?

Ah, the Champions League. Bringer of drama, stopper of dreamers, platform for Ray Wilkins to say ‘my word’ 50 hundred thousand times. And there are other things that are nearly always discussed, certainly when seeing the two dominant Spanish sides play. The great debate has moved from trying to ...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Rooney and Savage liven up the tedious break in play

There are not many things that evoke a true hatred and frustration in my usually dreary and featureless disposition, in fact there are only three: anybody who thinks the enjoyment of a night out is heightened by the commencement of dancing, any television programme in which the words “Piers” and ...

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Scotland: Can Levein’s men shock the world champions Spain?

Scotland’s narrow win over Liechtenstein, combined with Spain’s 2-0 win over the Czech Republic, has given Craig Levein’s men a glimmer of hope of qualifying for their first major tournament since France 98. All they need to do is better what the Czechs do against Lithunia. Unfortunately their oppon...

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England: Does anyone know what is wrong with England?

Fabio Capellos England qualified for Euro 2012 last night with a point at Montenegro. Despite Wayne Rooneys red card and blowing a two goal lead, England fans will be travelling to Poland and Ukraine in mass in the summer. But in the build-up to the game the same tired questions were being asked ag...

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Who Will Turn Out For Great Britain Next Summer?

With less than a year to go, speculation is mounting about who will appear for the Great Britain team at the London Olympics. Despite opposition from the Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish FAs , some players have begun indicating they would like to be considered. Football is an unusual sport in tha...

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Give me Port Vale and Peterborough over England any day

What did you do last Saturday? Maybe you went shopping with the missus, did some DIY or watched some ropey film on ITV. If you follow a club in the Premier League or Championship it would not have involved watching your favourites in action, leaving the field clear for clubs in League One and Two. ...

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Would you like to write for Squarefootball?

Do you live, breathe and sleep football? Do you have a passion for writing and want your views to be read by a potential audience of millions? Then we at Squarefootball Towers would love to hear from you. Whether you follow Aberdeen or Accrington Stanley, West Ham United or Wolfsburg, we can offer ...

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Get on side and sport your colours for Shelter this World Cup

In celebration of this years FIFA World Cup, housing and homelessness charity Shelter are teaming up with Nationwide Building Society, Official England Team sponsor, to launch their fantastic footy fundraiser, Strip4Shelter. Shelter is asking people across the country to replace their regular work ...

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Beckham bows, Bale wows

OK, so the nation’s red-top readers might not be unified in touching an x-ray of his broken Achilles tendon this summer, but David Beckham’s injury and subsequent absence from this year’s World Cup rightfully dominated Mondays papers. Sure, his prospective absence isn’t anywhere near as pressing...

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Does Capello Really Not Need Owen?

Michael Owen has an excellent goal scoring record at international level, averaging almost a goal every two games – 40 in 89 games to be precise.Fabio Capello was quizzed about calling Owen up to the squad for the game against the Ukraine, in limited English he ruled out such a move. I have to choos...

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Gemmill or Gazza: Who scored the better goal? You decide

We’re currently in the middle of an international break so what better time to look back at two of the best goals scored in international football by England and Scotland and ask: Which was better, Archie Gemmill for Scotland against Holland or Paul Gascoigne for England against Scotland? Both goal...

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Is Michael Owen's England career over?

It's hard to believe that a player with the skill and experience that Michael Owen possesses has been thrown on to the international scrapheap at the tender age of 28 but that is exactly how it looks following Fabio Capello's shock decision to leave the Newcastle forward out of his squad for the cru...

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Does Michael Owen deserve an England recall?

Michael Owen is England's most natural and prolific goalscorer. He is the country's fourth highest scorer of all time (40) and is the nation's leading finisher in competitive matches (26). However, with the arrival of Fabio Capello, and the Italian favouring a 4-5-1 formation, many have feared for t...

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4613: The Celtic Cup Could Be a Winn

by : Hugh Larkin 2007 is one of those years when football fans have to struggle along without an international tournament to enjoy during the summer. If the Celtic nations have their way though, 2009 could be the first year of a new international competition. The old Home International Championshi...

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3750: Club v Country; Joyride Or Jo

by : Stephen Orford The chances of Arsene Wenger, Gerard Houllier or Rafa Benitez managing an international side in the future were apparently reduced on Wednesday (October 11). Arsenal, Lyon and Liverpool fans may be disappointed to note that this is not because their boss man has penned a length...

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