Outside the Box – Football on TV: Confusion reigns at City as Coleman fluffs his lines

Have you played Football Manager 2012? You may wonder how a game brimming with data, facts and incalculable statistics comes to contain such a dearth of information. Well, in the early stages of the games development, some spotty oik is charged with the task of finding someone close to each of the 7...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: An incident-packed week at the BBC leaves Savage short of support and Lineker lost for words

They say a week in football is a long time and it can certainly be said that there was enough controversy, incident and wonder crammed into the last seven days of football to keep Joey Barton’s Twitter account going for years. The fallout from the Manchester derby, the return of Scholes and Henry, t...

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Racism is in the spotlight but what is being done to tackle homophobia?

The FA stamped down on Luis Suarez’s racism towards Patrice Evra. And it’s quite right that they did, isn’t it? For when we look back into the past, and certainly in football’s past, we see things that are shockingly vile. In the seventies and part of the eighties, black footballers were subjected ...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Manchester disunited but the magic of the FA Cup is alive and well

The much talked about magic of the FA Cup was present in abundance this Sunday during the huge third round Manchester showdown, in fact there was more magic contained in the 90 minutes than during a Paul Daniels swingers party. Chris Foy’s card tricks, a disappearing City captain and most mystifying...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: A football overkill but Fabregas’ Barcelona adventure keeps us watching

At the top of this article you will see, if you can get past the crass, self-congratulatory overuse of my own name, that the tagline for this column mentions that there isn’t enough football on the TV. Obviously this pithy line is actually nonsense as there is in fact far too much football clogging ...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Stelling and his merry mates bring festive cheer and genuine fear in the absence of any football

If we boil it down, there are two distinct ways to spend the festive period. You either endure the holiday wallowing in a pit of desperate desolation, alone with no hope of joviality, good tidings or communal kinship. Sat crestfallen in front of Eastenders on Christmas night, nursing a bottle of gin...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: A battle of wits ends in defeat for Worthy’s warhorses, but football marches on

Let’s face it. Our footballing heroes don’t have the greatest reputation when it comes to brainpower and academia do they? A cautionary glance at the post-match interviews every week on Match Of The Day show us superstars struggling to grasp the complexity of questions such as, “How do you feel the ...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: A hair-raising spectacle on Saturday turns to sombre reflection on Sunday

Take a look around you. Chances are that if you are reading this in a public place; a library, at your office while you should be working or perhaps even on the Tube, then someone close by is displaying some facial hair that seems to be a little out of place. These moustachioed menfolk are either un...

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Get your Christmas football books here

With Christmas around the corner, attention will be turning the old chore of shopping for the festive period. The dreaded question is about to raise its ugly head. What do I get for the football fan in my life? As usual the great and the good of the football world are telling their story. There ar...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: A test of comedy quizzing is passed with help from the inspiring Irish

Ok, before we go any further let me first congratulate the Irish team on their impressive qualification for the European Championships next summer. There was the inevitable party mood for the second leg of the Republic of Ireland v Estonia match last Tuesday and I’m sure there are not many that begr...

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Arsenal, Spurs, Chelsea, Birmingham: What game would you like to erase from your club's history?

I think it is safe to come out from behind the sofa now. The trick and treaters have gone into 12 months of hibernation, giving the nation’s doorbells time to recover. The BBC can put the series of Halloween movies back into cold storage. Just how many were there? As football fans we too have exper...

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Stoke City And Greece: Why Should 'Pretty' Success Matter?

The European Championships 2004. Ah, what a tournament. The Greeks told every single one of us that fairy tales can come true. They defeated France and Portugal along the route to triumph and won a major international tournament for the very first time as rank outsiders. Unfortunately, what came...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: ITV begin to repay their debt with a feast of Man City delights

It’s the 12th June 2010. Seven thirty-four on a warm summer’s evening. My friends and I are huddled around my television, just as a million more expectant eyes are doing at the same moment up and down the nation. Then pffft … nothing. A moment’s darkness was followed by some guff about Hyundai cars ...

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Could ex-players as referees ever work?

Ah, referees. Nasty men in black, the forever stern officials of our game, often painted to be rather humourless beings who get out of the house on Sundays to escape their nagging wives and only serve to annoy us. There is a theory, which Roberto Marinez brought up back in January of this year,...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: A bad week for JT just gets worse and worse as the news hacks attack!

It’s been a bad old week for Chelsea and England captain John Terry hasn’t it? The on-going racism row between Terry and his accuser Anton Ferdinand has been front and back page news since the incident occurred a week ago and the story shows no signs of halting. Like most I have seen the footage...

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Arsenal, Coventry and Leicester: Can a new ground be blamed for a lack of success?

It has been a traumatic decade for followers of Coventry City. The Sky Blues were relegated from the Premier League in 2001 and in the proceeding 10 years the Midlands club have rarely threatened a return to the big time. You could argue that the club’s move to the Ricoh Arena has hindered their pro...

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Manchester United got off lightly: Here's five of the worst results ever

Manchester City rocked the champions at Old Trafford, hitting Fergies men for six, but Hugh Larkin recalls five of the worst beatings of all time. As Chris Pettit reminded us elsewhere on this site - Manchester Citys spectacular 6-1 victory at Old Trafford was the second jaw-dropping scoreline of t...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Mancini’s Manchester magicians spoil the party… and this column

Why always me? This week I was going to talk to you about the light-hearted Sky Sports knockabout quiz Take It Like a Fan. I was armed with reams of faint praise for the show and was readying my keyboard for a glittering review and even a possible recommendation for you all to check it out. But al...

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Can any player, including Messi, be considered 'the greatest'?

Ah, the Champions League. Bringer of drama, stopper of dreamers, platform for Ray Wilkins to say ‘my word’ 50 hundred thousand times. And there are other things that are nearly always discussed, certainly when seeing the two dominant Spanish sides play. The great debate has moved from trying to ...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Football on Sky is becoming a fairytale thanks to Wilkins the Wizard

So we were repeatedly told that it was the ‘biggest club game in world football’ as Liverpool and Manchester United met at Anfield on Saturday for the ever-intense North-West derby. The fevered atmosphere was apparent at Sky for Live Ford Football Special and there was an almost fairytale mood in ...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Rooney and Savage liven up the tedious break in play

There are not many things that evoke a true hatred and frustration in my usually dreary and featureless disposition, in fact there are only three: anybody who thinks the enjoyment of a night out is heightened by the commencement of dancing, any television programme in which the words “Piers” and ...

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Scotland: Can Levein’s men shock the world champions Spain?

Scotland’s narrow win over Liechtenstein, combined with Spain’s 2-0 win over the Czech Republic, has given Craig Levein’s men a glimmer of hope of qualifying for their first major tournament since France 98. All they need to do is better what the Czechs do against Lithunia. Unfortunately their oppon...

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Tevez, Mourinho and Zidane: Why football loves those shocking moments

When sitting down, reclining and watching the football on the TV, there are a few annoying things that one can expect. The first is that we will be subjected to some truly awful punditry and the second is we’ll probably be listening to the brilliant atmosphere – thousands upon thousands of footb...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Tevez, tantrums and Trigger? The pundits pull no punches when it comes to Carlos the Jackal

By the time this weekend came around I, like most, was sick to death of hearing about Carlos Tevez this, Carlos Tevez that, suspensions, fines, lip-readers, caveman, Aleksandar Kolarov, Argentina, Mancini. The whole overblown schism engulfed the country’s consciousness like some toxic mist and re...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: You’re On Sky Sports… or should that be Moron Sky Sports?

There are three clearly defined pursuits enjoyed by the average football fan. One, demonstrating the unwavering certainty that they know the best way for their team to play. Secondly, morphing into yob-like tyrants at the very sight of an opposition supporter and lambasting them with vociferous ange...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Morning Glory could soon be a thing of the past for the guys at Soccer AM

Morning. The time of day when we, as human beings, fall into two distinct categories. On one hand you may be an enterprising, full-blooded marauder, charging about here there and everywhere with an unbounded vitality and zest for adventure. Alternatively, you might be a feckless layabout. Those of u...

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Top 10 bizarre injuries to footballers

Swansea City’s vice-captain Alan Tate is set to miss most of the Swans’ debut season in Premier League after breaking his leg in a freak golfing accident. The versatile defender was a passenger in a golf buggy that lost control and Tate will have to watch the majority of the club’s rollercoaster adv...

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Outside the Box – Football on TV: Golden Oldies at Sky prove to be Masters

The legendary American comedian Bob Hope once quipped, “Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle”. This observation proved to be spectacularly apt as I tuned in to Sky Sports’ Grand Final Masters this weekend. If you’re unfamiliar with the annual Masters summer contest it runs...

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Scots Corner: Is summer football the future for the SPL?

As the nights begin to draw in, getting shorter and shorter, and the weather quickly deteriorating, the age-old prospect of summer football has reared its head again. With the football season only a few weeks old and already the Scottish winter setting in, why not? Last season saw a record number o...

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Scots Corner: Is The SPL Really That Bad?

Scottish football suffered a shock to the system on Thursday night, with all three Europa League representatives posting disappointing results in the first legs of their respective ties. It was the most damning evidence that Scottish football has declined considerably in recent years, as Hearts and ...

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The match-day rituals of a lower league fan

Every football fan has a match day ritual, whether they mean to or not. Sometimes match day rituals can be so trivial that you can barely notice that you do the same things week in week out in preparation for the 3pm on a Saturday (or whenever your team plays). Now, as you might have figured out f...

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The 10 Worst Opening Day Defeats in Football

Queens Park Rangers returned to the Premier League this season full of optimism and excitement. Unfortunately that was drained out of them after 45 minutes when Bolton’s Gary Cahill delivered a sucker punch just before half-time. Up until then the R’s had looked promising. In the second half though,...

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Scots Corner: What's up with Scottish football?

The last seven days have passed without major controversy, with no major movement in the transfer market and no incidents to spark heated debate, while the SPL saw 18 goals scored in an exciting weekend of league action. What has happened to Scottish football? The national side overcame Denmark 2-1...

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Scots Corner: Hearts broken by Jefferies' shock dismissal

The SPL has had a hectic week, with domestic, European and friendly action, as well as the first managerial casualty of the season. Following Hearts 1-0 home defeat to Dundee United last Sunday, extending their winless streak even further, manager Jim Jefferies and assistant Billy Brown were sacked...

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Newcastle and Hearts take note - This is how to run a football club

Over the past few years, we have seen many football club owners neglect their club financially, for instance the Glazer family at Manchester United. Under their stewardship Uniteds debt grew to more than £1 billion! On a smaller scale we had Munto Finance at Notts County, who allowed signings like S...

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Squarefootball's Fantasy football invitation

There is less than two weeks to go until the start of the 2011/12 Premier League season and time is running out for you to enter the Squarefootball fantasy football competition. Last season more than 100 teams competed for the Squarefootball title, which was won by P Oxenby and his team FC Poxo. He...

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Who is your club’s greatest signing?

It is time to dust out the sheepskin coat and training gear with matching initials. Yes we will soon be picking our fantasy football teams. The right signings will determine your chances of becoming the next Ferguson, Mourinho or Hiddnk. The chequebook has certainly assisted those who play for real....

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What five things would you do before the season starts?

Isn’t it normally New Years Eve when you get a top 100 favourite moments of the year or top 500 best movie credits or some other poor excuse for a programme? Well I thought I would also use it as a poor excuse for an article, but rather than boring you all with a list consisting of 100 or more items...

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Tevez, Modric, Nasri and co - Quit your moaning!

One of the lessons that I had drilled into me as a youngster is the old adage “asking never gets”. Maybe you too can recall a time when you asked your mum for a Penguin or something and she trotted out some half-cocked lecture about it being polite to wait to be offered blah, blah, blah. Well clearl...

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Preview to the 2011/12 SPL season

The Scottish football season gets under way tomorrow lunch time, with reigning champions Rangers hosting Hearts in an unusually early start to the SPL campaign. Just under ten weeks have passed since the final ball of the league season was kicked, and the early beginning has caused a stir amongst th...

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SPL: Who will win what this season?

Tomorrow afternoon the Scottish Premier League season gets under way as the champions Rangers start their defence of the title at home to Heart of Midlothian. Ally McCoist’s men will be desperate to keep the title out of the grasp of Celtic’s Neil Lennon, whose Bhoys kick -off 24 hours later away at...

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Football in 3D - A new risk to average attendances?

The world has evolved and developed a lot since the 1950s with the invention, evolution and development of everything from bladeless fans to electric cars and high definition broadcasts and beyond, but what have the boffins responsible for 3D been doing for 60 years since its inception? 3D today i...

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SPL: Can McCoist keep the title from Lennon’s grasp or will a new name be etched on the SPL title?

The Scottish Premier League kicks off this weekend with the champions Rangers starting their defence of the title at home against Hearts. But will Ally McCoist still have the blue, red and white ribbons on the trophy come May or will Neil Lennon’s Celtic seize control of the league title, or could A...

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Footballers: Why don’t we flog them on eBay?

I have never been to Australia but I know two things for sure about the Land of Oz. One, they are better than us at almost every single sporting activity aside from football of course (although let’s be honest, the England team is not that much farther ahead than the Aussies at this point). Even the...

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SPL: Who will be the first manager to leave his post?

The new season hasn’t even kicked off yet but William Hill have already begun taking bets on who will be the first managerial casualty in the SPL. The bookies have a three-way tie at the top with St Johnstone’s Derek McInnes, Hearts’ Jim Jeffries and Kilmarnock’s Kenny Shiels all at 4/1, all for to...

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SPL: Who will win the Scottish title?

For the past 26 years it’s really been a toss of a coin as to who will be crowned champions of Scotland, with the Old Firm pairing of Celtic and Rangers dominating the landscape north of the border. Ally McCoist’s Rangers are the current holders, but Neil Lennon will be desperate to prise the title ...

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The frustrations of being a football fan

As football fans we are a pessimistic breed. No sooner have we finished dancing in the stands or in front of the TV celebrating our club’s promotion, championship, relegation avoidance or cup victory, we turn our attention to the next competition and start convincing ourselves football life will nev...

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Would you like to write for Squarefootball?

Do you live, breathe and sleep football? Do you have a passion for writing and want your views to be read by a potential audience of millions? Then we at Squarefootball Towers would love to hear from you. Whether you follow Aberdeen or Accrington Stanley, West Ham United or Wolfsburg, we can offer ...

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Fantasy football 2010/11 reminder

Do you think you can spend £100 million better than Manchester City’s Roberto Mancini? Do you think you could assemble a better squad than Spurs boss Harry Redknapp? Do you think you can guide your side to glory like Chelsea’s Carlo Ancelotti? If so then we want to hear from you. We at Squarefootba...

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Squarefootball fantasy football invitation 2010/11

I saw more action and excitement this summer down at the mortuary than I did at the World Cup in South Africa. There was also a better atmosphere between me and my ex-girlfriend than there was inside the grounds, thanks to the constant drone of those awful vuvuzelas. And as for entertainment, I th...

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